The Heart is a precious gift. It is the core of our being if only in a symbolic way. It can be bruised, battered, elated, bursting with love and pride. It can be ripped to shreds in an instant, by a live changing event.
If you google, can the heart repair itself? you will get conflicting answers, the truth is even if it tries to repair itself, scar tissue always remains. You, can try, but you can’t remove the reminders of what caused the damage, in the first instance. They stay there as a lesson for the future. Sometimes if they are left to grow unchecked, they can eat away at what remains of the tissue.
Be it your childhood, your first lost love, losing a parent, sibling or child, a marriage breakdown, an addiction, the traumatic events and disappointment scar your heart for eternity and change the person you thought you would become, they take many different shapes and guises, but each event leaves its mark, changes your direction on the compass you felt so sure of.
They take you down roads you would never wish to travel, but only you can decide to travel in the same direction or change course. Each person enters the world alone, and leaves alone, but the imprint we leave behind can have a profound effect, on those we came into contact with along the way. Sometimes the battle between what’s right in our heart and what’s right in our head is a hard-fought one.
It can be a constant struggle, of misunderstanding yourself and misunderstanding those you share your life with. It requires constant attention, it’s like a kindergarten child demanding you make decisions, offer opinions, give wit and wisdom, always have the right words to offer at the right moment, knowing your always being judged, or assessed in some way. An important part of our life skills is knowing when to deal with that child and when to ignore its pleas for attention. Which situations to walk away from which to confront. We don’t always get it right. We don’t always come out without scars.
It takes bravery to admit you have a damaged heart, it takes an understanding to make you begin a healing process. It takes guts to begin again and risk more damage.
Show me a person that has not made mistakes in life, that self-inflicted some damage to their own heart, knowingly or unknowingly hurt someone they cared about, that person does not exist. Some damage can be papered over, but life has a funny way of pulling off the cover when least expected. We can pretend we are things we are not, suppress feelings in a bid to ignore the discomfort they bring, with them. They always come to the surface, like oil and water the heart and denial doesn’t mix.
But always, even if you disagree with it, the beat of your heart in your chest will let you know how you genuinely feel. Only you can decide how to translate that feeling into words and actions, sometimes you will get it very wrong, sometimes you will get it just right, as long as you keep your heart free of bitterness and malice, forgive yourself and others your heart will continue to be a precious gift……