Melanoma In Me

An Irish woman trying to find her way through the turmoil of a stage 4 diagnosis of MalignantMelanoma

Melanoma Anniversary

18/02/2016

MELANOMA ANNIVERSARY

We all have anniversary’s we are supposed to remember, but what do you do with a melanoma anniversary? Mine is today, one year on since two doctor’s sat in front of me and gave me the news that everyone dreads your melanoma is back.

It’s a strange sensation this anniversary i can’t run away from it and pretend its never happened, there were times early last year i doubted i would even get this far i was so ill. The positive voice tells me YES celebrate it, live every moment its fantastic i’m still here!! But in reality its just a day, like any other. This day last year the world did not stop spinning because i was ill, even though at the time to me, it felt like it should, so i could catch my breath and have time to process what was happening.

I have had amazing support, and also some major disappointments, you learn a lot about yourself and those around you, life becomes clearer, priorities change, people whom you didn’t know a year ago become your greatest allies , people you have always known drift away. Melanoma is a deeply personal journey, one that you take alone in your head and body. It’s you who ultimately has to learn how to cope with the diagnosis, sometimes that is a harder task than the physical symptoms it can bring, it is roller coaster of emotions from wild highs to bottomless pits of despair.

So today I am going to celebrate this anniversary not with a party or helicopter ride or a trip to Vegas although if anyone wants to buy me one that would be lovely :-). I’m going to be cleaning the house, doing the shopping, have the dog bring me for my walk, and sitting down to a normal weekday dinner with my family, all the things i wished i could be doing this day last year when those two doctors sat in front of me……….

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